About Me

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I have a Bachelor of Science in Psychology and I am currently working on my Masters of Arts in Counseling.I have had experience as a youth treatment specialist, child counselor, a great deal of understanding in child development and am a stay-at-home-mom to 3 wonderful, beautiful kids under the age of 9. I have a passion for child psychology and fashion.

Saturday, November 8, 2014

Lookin' up!

I haven't posted in a while. I haven't really had time with 3 kids and all. I used to update this blog on a daily basis, but then decided to do it on a monthly basis, now I might do it every 3 months. I really need to start doing this again. It's actually pretty relaxing and let's me get my feelings out.

Anyway, I have a couple of things that have happened in my life that I am very proud about.

1. I wrote a book about 2 years ago. A little children's book. I have always said I was going to get it published. Two years later, I have finally found someone to publish my book and it's here in Lincoln. I will have my hard copy of my book by Christmas. Keira, my oldest daughter is my illustrator. She is pretty proud that she will have her name on a book. I am an author. I have a book.

2. I have wanted to go back to school and get my Masters, but just haven't had time. My youngest starts kindergarten in the Fall of 2015 and so I will be able to do my homework during the day and go to school during the evening one night a week. I will get my degree and psychology license in 2 years.

Wednesday, July 2, 2014

Mission Trip Tokio, North Dakota 2014

Youth Mission trip diary. Saturday, June 21st- Friday, June 27th 2014.

Saturday, June 21st

Early morning! Had to be up at 5:30 a.m. Of course, I couldn't sleep last night because I was making sure I had everything packed and everything ready to go. I got to the church at 6:30, where I met up with everyone. We got the truck packed up with all the suit cases, blankets and food. On the road at 7 a.m.

It was supposed to take us 10 hours, but took us 14 hours. We had to take a detour because of road construction. We managed to out run the bad storm.

As we were driving out, we saw a lot of flooding.

I guess this is normal for them. They didn't seem too concerned. They just keep raising the roads. At one of our tours, the resident said that the water was actually 'seeping' under the road to the other side of the street.

Got to our destination at 9 p.m. We met with the pastor of the church and other people that were going to help us along the way. After we met with the pastor and took a little tour, we did our own devotionals for the night ( our time to reflect on the day, the days' work and the people we met through out the day.) One question we have to think about is..."How has someone else helped you in life?" This question is because we do so much to help other people , but who actually helps us? Finally, it's midnight and it's bedtime.

We are at Tokio, ND. On an Indian Reservation. It doesn't look any different, it just looks like a regular small town. We are here to help the pastor and Sunday School director fix up the manse (where the SS director is living). We will be painting some walls, pulling up carpet, putting wood floors down on the stair landing, putting tread on the stairs, cleaning up the yard...mowing, pulling weeds, raking. This week we have something planned every night after our work day. It will be interesting to learn the culture, help this town, take tours and help rebuild the manse.

Sunday, June 22nd

Didn't sleep very good last night. Found out they have really bad ticks (like our flies, they are everywhere, literally!) and mosquitos. I don't do bugs of any kind. I think I finally fell asleep but then kept waking up and just looking around to see if there were any bugs on me. We are actually supposed to be sleeping in bunk trailers, but they were not ready for us (didn't have electricity). So, we are staying in the Church sanctuary. Which, is probably much better! Today, we are attending the church's service and having a cookout; potluck with their congregation. The service was pretty short, they had a guest pastor. No work today.
This is the church we slept in. Bdecan (B-D-Chun)

This is where we slept every night. In the pews. The grey pillow/blanket is mine. One of the other youth slept on the other side where the pink blanket is.

Had lunch with the congregation. They only had about 9 people today. They said they usually have about 20 people who come. Went over to the manse to check out what work needed to be done. Had a little time, so we went to look at the cemetery, right across the street. We are going on a tour of all the towns on the reservation later today about 3 p.m
This is the inside of the church. I thought it was pretty cute! 

This is the Manse that we had to fix up on the inside. 

Went on the tour of the reservations. The reservation is made up of about 4 towns, with housing units. Which consists of about 10-20 double wide trailers, FEMA houses or houses that were old and run down. The "White" people had nice farm houses. The "white" people are considered rich there. The most interesting facts to me was that, these houses on the Indian reservation can be rented out only to the tribes for less than $10 a month. They go by your income. Another interesting fact is that the families don't have to work at all. 90% of the houses are single family with only the women and children. The kids are not disciplined. I saw kids everywhere! I was driving down the highway going 55-60 and the tour guy told me to slow down because there might be kids playing in the street. Most of the houses had boards on them because the guys get drunk and knock out the windows. All the headstart schools were boarded up because the kids would knock the windows out.

This is one of the reservations and the housing units. 

This is on one of the headstarts with some of the windows and doors boarded up.

Had supper together. We had pulled pork, hot dogs, peaches and chips. After supper, the youth cleaned up and then we sat around the table just talking, playing games, and playing cards. We relaxed until about 10:30 then did our devotions for the day.

Monday, June 23rd
Work day- Slept a little better last night. Didn't feel like I woke up as much. Got up about 7:30 a.m., had our breakfast then headed to do our work. We can walk to the job site so, it's really nice not to get up so early and have to drive far away. We worked until noon, came back to the church and ate lunch. Went back to work after lunch then worked until 3:30. Had to get cleaned up (shower and change) to leave by 5:00 to be in another town for prayer worship.
This prayer worship was a small get together of some of the Indian people who lit sage to keep the bad spirits out.                      This is the circle that they would light the sage.

Tuesday, June 24th
Didn't sleep too well last night. The youth girls and I stayed up until almost 1 o'clock in the morning telling ghost stories. By the end we were all scared, so we put the pews together and all slept together. Slept until 9 a.m. Had our morning coffee and breakfast then headed to work. It was cold and dreary today. The high was 51 degrees and raining. As I mentioned on Monday, we got most of our work done yesterday. Today, we had to clean up the stairs and landing (from pulling up the carpet) to get ready to lay the laminate and tread on the stairs. Swept, vaccumed the stairs and landing, washed them with bleach and water, so we had to let them air dry. We went outside after cleaning the stairs. It stopped raining. We did a lot of yard work today. Mowed, raked up the grass from mowing,  picked up the grass piles, pulled weeds, cut the weeds with sheers- (had 4 weed wackers, but none of them worked.) We had our tour planned for tonight, but already did that on Monday, so tonight we were on our own. We went into the closest town (Devil's lake) took the kids to Dairy Queen then went to Wal mart (our WAM-Walmart At Midnight tradition). We came back to the church. We have a new tradition, thanks to one of the youth- Coffee at midnight! :) I lead devotions then just relaxed. Tonight's devotion question... "How has someone helped you today?)

Wednesday, June 25th
I slept really good last night. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until it was light outside. We don't have much work left to do so, we are pacing ourselves. This morning, we woke up at 8:30, ate breakfast and just hung around the church and played UNO, and yahtzee. We mostly just had yard work left to do and it was raining, so we waited until it stopped raining. We ate lunch then went to work. Got done about 3:30. Tonight they had a program called KICK-Kids in Christ Kingdom. It's a Sunday School service for the kids on Wednesday evenings. The youth hung out outside with the Sunday School kids, had some supper with the Sunday school kids and parents. Everyone left and we were on our own again. The youth sang songs and danced and had a really good night of bonding. We tried to take a shower, but the water heater was not working. So, we don't have showers the rest of the week. BOO!
Time for devotions. Our nightly coffee hour and devotions. Tonight our question was...."What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Thursday, June 26th
Stayed up pretty late last night with the youth girls. Slept until 11 a.m. Since we ran out of things to do Monday and was pacing ourselves, we were not in a big hurry to get to work. Finished the stairs today (out the tred on the stairs) and cleaned up the Manse's kitchen and did some more yard work. We stopped at 5p.m. and had a cultural dinner and they showed us some of the traditional Indian clothes, drums, knife holders and bow and arrows. We sat around and talked. Haven't taken a shower in 3 days. I'm ready to be home. Got to talk to the kids and hubby today. Makes me miss them more.

Friday, June 27th

Officially done with all the work today. No work today! Today is our fun day. We woke up at 9:30, sat around and talked. Went into Devil's Lake to take a tour of Fort Totten (a Military Camp). We got done about 3:30 then we took the youth to the lake to go swimming. Today, was a little warmer, maybe about 70 degrees. It started raining while the kids were in the water, so we had to be done. We took the kids to the casino and ate at the buffet. Came back to the church and cleaned it up to get ready to leave in the morning. Our devotion question...."How has someone helped you in life?" We have a tradition on the mission trips to light a candle on the last day of the trip and tell everyone how we feel about the trip, about each other and what we learned through the mission.

Saturday, June 28th
Got up about 7:30 a.m. and left Tokio by 9 a.m. A long day of driving. Finally, got home about 9:00 p.m. Got the kids from grandma's and back home at about 9:30p.m.

Even though this is my 3rd mission trip, nothing ever changes. None of them are the same. They just keep getting better and better. I would have to say that my favorite parts of this mission trip were sitting around the table in the mornings-drinking our coffee, talking, chatting and laughing, Sitting in our pews (beds) until midnight or later talking and laughing, and our devotion times usually started around 9:30-10:00. We talked about everything. Getting to know the youth is a big, important part of me because I am the Youth director, I need to be able to bond with the kids and the kids have to be able to trust me and be able to talk to me about anything and everything. One of the youth actually texted her mom saying, "Amber is awesome!" That made my week!

Many more years to come!

Saturday, May 10, 2014

I'm Scared....

Yes, you heard me. I'm scared.

As a mother, you are not supposed to be scared. You are supposed to be the tough one, the strong one, the one to cry to, not the one who cries.  Always being there when your kids have nightmares. When your kids fall and scrape their knees. In my case, when my child cuts open her lip and I'm scared to death, but can't show her because mom's are supposed to make every thing better. When you talk to your kids about bullying. Fighting. Drugs. Mean people. People who offer you candy. People who make bad decisions because they feel like it. When inside I am scared to death because I was once bullied at school and I know how it feels. I know how it feels to talk to mean people. I know how it feels to fight. Fight for your friends. Fight for your friends' attention because they got into the wrong crowd and no longer wants to be your friend because you don't do what the 'cool' people do. No one needs to go through that.

I am very scared for Keira (all my kids really, but Keira is the oldest one and the first one who will be in the Intermediate school). Being older and in higher grade levels come more friends or not friends. It comes more responsibility on the kids' shoulders to fit in. To run with the 'in' crowd. People usually have to make sacrifices to fit in. To some kids it comes natural. I'm really hoping it will come natural to Keira and she will not have to fight for her friends or a 'spot' in society.

Too often, you see young kids go down a wrong path. Whether it's the kids they hang out with. following in their parent's negative habits. Whether they are trying to run away from something that is hurting them. No matter what it is, we as parents, have to be there for our kids. Right now, Keira is still very innocent and likes everyone she talks to even the mean kids and I think that is what they need, is for someone to talk to them because they don't get that a lot at home or with other friends. I just hope that as Keira grows up she realizes that there are a lot of different types of people in this world and not every one are the nice guys.

What this post boils down to is...I just want my kids to be happy, healthy and care free about life and not worry about all the bad things in life that can get in their way. I want my kids to know the difference between good and bad choices. The difference between good and bad people. The difference between good and bad friends.

They say that your children follow in your foot steps. This is what scares the crap out of me. I have suffered from Depression, suicide tendencies/thoughts, anxiety, etc. Keira is already showing signs of anxiety and this scares me. She worries about every little thing, when a child should never have anything to worry about. I am a very impatient person and she has those tendencies. These are things that can be changed and fixed.

We never know what's around the corner. We never know when the last time we are going to see the one's we love. We never know when our kids are in trouble. We never know what our kids are thinking. We never know how much a look, a smile, a wink, a thumbs up, a good job, a pat on the back, a talk will change a kid's day. It can change how a child thinks and acts just by doing something good for them.

It scares me to have my kids grow up! I can't tell you what they will be like when they grow up. If I could tell you what each of my kids will be like right now.... Keira would be a teacher. She loves her teacher she has now (and kindergarten). She loves to be in charge. She loves to be organized. She loves working and reading. She just loves helping people. Aden would be an Engineer like daddy. He loves trying to figure stuff out. He asks dad questions all the time about how to fix stuff. Taygen would be a veterinarian or a doctor. She loves to play with her babies and take care of them. She uses her Doc McStuffins tools on all her babies. But that's now. I can't wait to see what the future holds for the kids, but at the same time it scares me to death. Does Keira's anxiety now, mean something in the future?  Does the way Aden move his hands (like turrets) mean something in the future? Does the way Taygen expresses her self, yells sometimes hits her brother, mean something in the future?

I guess for now, the only thing I can do is set a good example and lead the way for them to grow up being loving, caring and passionate people.

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Being a Single Mom for 8 days

I shouldn't have said 'Single' mom in the title because I'm not actually single. My husband was out of town..ok... out of the country for 8 days, 7 nights for work, so I was singly taking care of my 3 kids under 7.

This is my usual schedule... I have 3 kids, 7, 5 & 3. The oldest is in 1st grade. The middle boy is in preschool Monday, Wednesday & Friday. The youngest angel (sometimes) goes to preschool Tuesday & Thursday, so everyday I have at least one kid at all times.  I get up at 7 a.m, wake up my oldest daughter, she gets her self dressed, then I wake up the other 2, get them dressed. We all go down stairs for breakfast. While they sit at the table and eat, I go get my self ready (as ready as I can be). After I get dressed and the kids get done eating, I brush their teeth, comb their hair and they all get their shoes and coat on. We are ready to head out the door at 7:40 a.m. I drive to Norris (about 30 minutes away) drop my oldest off for 1st grade. Then drive back to Lincoln and drop a preschooler off (depending what day it is, refer back to the top of this paragraph), then usually go home with the other one and shower then we have our learning session. Leave the house at 11 am and go pick up the preschooler by 11:30. We go home, get lunch, and the kids get to play, watch shows, learn until 2:00 pm when it is time to leave to get my oldest daughter. She doesn't get out of school until 3:25, which means I really do not have to leave my house until 2:50, but I leave at 2 so the other 2 kids sleep in the car....genius! I found this out last year that if I leave the house at 2, the other 2 will fall asleep in the car, I get their at 2:30 and am able to relax and have 'mommy' time for an hour.

Day 1- Monday- The plan was to take my oldest daughter to school then drop off my son to preschool and just have my youngest daughter home with me. But I woke up my oldest daughter and she felt like she had a fever. She woke up saying that her throat hurt and didn't feel good. I checked her temp and she had a fever, so I called the school and kept her home. I then let the other 2 sleep because preschool doesn't start until 9, so we would have to leave the house at 8:40. My son woke up (the one that was supposed to have preschool) saying that he didn't feel good either. I guessed it worked out that no one had school that day. So I wound up calling both schools and we all stayed home that day.

It was a pretty good day. The kids had pajama day and just lounged around the house all day. Lazy days are allowed....every once in a while  :)  I am a person that can't sit still and always has to have something to do, so just to sit around drives me crazy.

Day 2- Tuesday- Today was a normal running around day. Every one went to school today, the oldest and youngest. Kind of a normal day... It was snowing like crazy today. The oldest had an early dismissal because of the snow. So, had to go get her at 1:30 today. Went back home and let the kids put on their pj's again and had a movie day. I have pool leagues tonight, so grandma and grandpa are coming over to take over so momma can have some fun ;).

Day 3-Wednesday- Snow day for both kids today. It wasn't snowing today, the roads were just bad from the day/night before. Thought it was going to be another day of pj's and laying around, but momma can't stay in the house for very long, so it's a Children's Museum kind of day. It was kind of nice, because it wasn't over crowded like it usually it on the weekends. The kids played for hours. Too bad the stupid meters do not go any longer than 2 hours. The kids were worn out. Good for momma! On Wednesday nights, my oldest daughter and I usually hang out because that is the night that daddy shoots pool. So, we hung out and played a girlie game, of course, while the other 2 kids were in bed.

Day 4- Thursday- I can actually say that today was a normal day. Every one had school. So, it was my normal running around day. Yay for me! Today was the youngest preschool day. On Thursday's she has swimming with her school, so Aden and I watched her swim. The 2 youngest love coming to child watch at the Y (where they have preschool), so I usually have to find something to do so they can go in there for at least 10-15 minutes. Today, I got in the hot tub and just relaxed! I told the kids I would take them to Fazoli's for supper.

Day 5-Friday- Another normal day today....okay  no day is really normal for me. After picking up Aden from preschool, we went to the library and hung out for a while. Not much exciting today. Grandma and grandpa are coming to watch the kids so I can have a night out. Pool tourney tonight.

Day 6- Saturday- The Home and Garden show is here! I love shows like this! I decide to be brave and take all 3 kids to the show by my self! They are actually pretty good. we saw my cousin's (actually hubby's cousin) booth, so we stopped and talked to him for a while, he walked around with us for a minute. We found the kids' corner where the clowns are (no thanks for me!). The kids got balloon animals, face painting and got to do crafts. I also have a friend that had a booth that we got to see. All around a very good day! Aden has been wanting Subway for supper (so they can get a bag and a toy), so we went to Subway for supper. Yay healthy!

Day 7- Sunday- Had Church today. I am the Sunday School director and a teacher, so I had to be there today. We went shopping today for Valentine's for the kids' school. Went back home and relaxed, watched movies, supper, baths then bed.

Day 8- Monday- Daddy home day! Daddy is supposed to be home when I get home from picking up the oldest from school. Talk about a nice surprise for her. Today was as normal and boring as it could be. Nothing exciting to talk about. Daddy got home about 4 and had all kinds of surprises for the kids. The hubby got me a necklace and a snow globe with dolphins in it. Very pretty. I'm very glad to have dad/hubby back.

I am used to being by my self on a daily basis and the hubby is usually home about 5:30-6 to help out at night, but I have not had to be  mommy and daddy for 8 days. The hubby is going on another trip, this time for fun, for about 4 days, so I can actually say I can do it this time!

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

A Life Gone Too Soon

I found out earlier this week that a girl, who lives in my town, who some of my youth from church know and who some of my family know committed suicide because of depression. I do not personally know this girl. I'm not going to use her name, pictures or anything about her life story because I do not know her and because I do not have permission from the family to use these things! 

Instead, I will talk about the impact that depression does have on people and how important it is that it gets recognized as a disease! As a daughter, a depression survivor, mom of two little girls of my own, a psychology major, counselor and therapist I would like to take the time talk about depression. 

Family and friends can say, 'she was depressed.' 'She was sad.' She was angry.' But NOBODY, I mean nobody but her can know what she was going through. It doesn't matter how many people she talked to about it or how much medication she was on, nothing is going to help unless she wants/makes it change.

I'm not going to sit here and say that I know exactly how she feels or I know exactly what she went through because even though I did go through the same feelings, actions & medication that she did, everyone's depression is different.

You might think, 'only if I would have talked to someone or took the medication properly or seen a psychologist things would be different.' It doesn't work that way. It doesn't matter how many people you talk to or how much medication you take for your depression or anxiety, it had to be you that changes. 

Nine out of ten times it is your friends, family or something that's going on in YOUR life that's making you depressed, angry, sad, mad or hurt. YOU have to be the one that changes. You have to be the one to turn your back on all the negative that's going on in your life and you will feel 10x better! That doesn't mean it's going to be a quick fix. It just means that maybe you need to take a step back and realize you could be happier without all this pain. It's not going to take hours or days, it will take months or years. 

People with depression and suicidal thoughts tend to bottle it up until it's too late. Learn to recognize the signs of depression.
-Feelings of worthlessness
-feeling that you don't belong
-Loss of interest in activities that you used to love
-being sad all the time 

These are just a few. These are the ones you will notice the quickest. Surround yourself with loved ones. Surround this person with love and desire and show them that they are not alone. 

You know, we all say "Oh, I'm so depressed today. Just got so much going on." Or "It's such a depressing day. I couldn't get to the Y today." It doesn't matter what context the word 'depression' is in, it's still a serious disease and we need to take it seriously. 

My prayers go out to this girl's family and friends. If you need anyone to talk to you can email me at arweyer@gmail.com or leave a comment.