Yes, you heard me. I'm scared.
As a mother, you are not supposed to be scared. You are supposed to be the tough one, the strong one, the one to cry to, not the one who cries. Always being there when your kids have nightmares. When your kids fall and scrape their knees. In my case, when my child cuts open her lip and I'm scared to death, but can't show her because mom's are supposed to make every thing better. When you talk to your kids about bullying. Fighting. Drugs. Mean people. People who offer you candy. People who make bad decisions because they feel like it. When inside I am scared to death because I was once bullied at school and I know how it feels. I know how it feels to talk to mean people. I know how it feels to fight. Fight for your friends. Fight for your friends' attention because they got into the wrong crowd and no longer wants to be your friend because you don't do what the 'cool' people do. No one needs to go through that.
I am very scared for Keira (all my kids really, but Keira is the oldest one and the first one who will be in the Intermediate school). Being older and in higher grade levels come more friends or not friends. It comes more responsibility on the kids' shoulders to fit in. To run with the 'in' crowd. People usually have to make sacrifices to fit in. To some kids it comes natural. I'm really hoping it will come natural to Keira and she will not have to fight for her friends or a 'spot' in society.
Too often, you see young kids go down a wrong path. Whether it's the kids they hang out with. following in their parent's negative habits. Whether they are trying to run away from something that is hurting them. No matter what it is, we as parents, have to be there for our kids. Right now, Keira is still very innocent and likes everyone she talks to even the mean kids and I think that is what they need, is for someone to talk to them because they don't get that a lot at home or with other friends. I just hope that as Keira grows up she realizes that there are a lot of different types of people in this world and not every one are the nice guys.
What this post boils down to is...I just want my kids to be happy, healthy and care free about life and not worry about all the bad things in life that can get in their way. I want my kids to know the difference between good and bad choices. The difference between good and bad people. The difference between good and bad friends.
They say that your children follow in your foot steps. This is what scares the crap out of me. I have suffered from Depression, suicide tendencies/thoughts, anxiety, etc. Keira is already showing signs of anxiety and this scares me. She worries about every little thing, when a child should never have anything to worry about. I am a very impatient person and she has those tendencies. These are things that can be changed and fixed.
We never know what's around the corner. We never know when the last time we are going to see the one's we love. We never know when our kids are in trouble. We never know what our kids are thinking. We never know how much a look, a smile, a wink, a thumbs up, a good job, a pat on the back, a talk will change a kid's day. It can change how a child thinks and acts just by doing something good for them.
It scares me to have my kids grow up! I can't tell you what they will be like when they grow up. If I could tell you what each of my kids will be like right now.... Keira would be a teacher. She loves her teacher she has now (and kindergarten). She loves to be in charge. She loves to be organized. She loves working and reading. She just loves helping people. Aden would be an Engineer like daddy. He loves trying to figure stuff out. He asks dad questions all the time about how to fix stuff. Taygen would be a veterinarian or a doctor. She loves to play with her babies and take care of them. She uses her Doc McStuffins tools on all her babies. But that's now. I can't wait to see what the future holds for the kids, but at the same time it scares me to death. Does Keira's anxiety now, mean something in the future? Does the way Aden move his hands (like turrets) mean something in the future? Does the way Taygen expresses her self, yells sometimes hits her brother, mean something in the future?
I guess for now, the only thing I can do is set a good example and lead the way for them to grow up being loving, caring and passionate people.
